It’s all the same. Cash or Check?

Over the weekend I was searching for some pieces for a birdbath. I meandered through all the aisles and I was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of items on the shelves. Decorations, toys, bowls, and furniture for every occasion and state of mind, as far as you could see.

There were many interesting pieces – but would they fit in my home? Would they bring me happiness? When will we have it all? The more I pondered these questions, the less intrigued I had become. I started to feel nauseous, the carousel of others laughing and showing their friends their finds and overcome by the overwhelming amount of plastic things.

These items were hollow. No soul. Molded on the production floor from an exhausted worker on an assembly line. My enjoyment is someone else’s hardship. The colorful things started to lose their luster. The world started to turn grey.

I didn’t need any of this stuff.

I left.

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Published by: northwoodn0tes

Hi, I’m Alan, and I’m so grateful you’re here. This space is the result of a long, treacherous journey — one marked by survival, healing, and ultimately, freedom. I'm a survivor of sexual assault and domestic violence, experiences that once left me feeling isolated and voiceless. For years, my mental health felt like an endless storm. But through the wreckage, I discovered the profound importance of genuine friendship — those rare connections, both near and far, that see you, believe you, and stand with you. One of my greatest joys now is sondering — pausing to marvel at the rich, complex lives of the people who have crossed my path and helped stitch together the fabric of my healing. Each bond, no matter how brief or lasting, has been a spark of hope. My story is also one of movement — not just emotional, but physical. I made the leap to Colorado, seeking a new chapter and the freedom to live more authentically. Here, among the wide skies and new beginnings, I am reclaiming joy, learning to thrive, and offering my story to others who may need a reminder that freedom is possible. Thank you for being a part of this journey, Mr. Northwood

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